1. I was at a seaside town in England with my old mentor John Lapp. My wife kept bugging me to remember some old saying/song. I finally remembered it and sang it in sort of a southern minstrelly way. The verse was: Da river goes up. Da river goes down. Laws da river is deep. The we saw a guy who was blocking the door to a pub and I said we should beat the crap out of him.
2. I was part of a jazz mentoring program and I was a pianist. Our patron suggested I switch to guitar, which I can't play at all. While my wife and I were packing our bags in the hotel room, I mentioned that maybe I should make the switch to drums, since I could probably fake it on drums.
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